Path not taken

I feel that sometimes i've lost my way. Like i wasn't suppose to take this path i'm on and i think back to the time where i made that split second decision that caused me to end up here, right now, as the messed-up-caffeine-addict-nocturnal-lack-of-motivation me. What happened? I'm pretty sure sketching, dancing, choreographing, drawing, designing stuff for hours throughout high school does not lead to pharmacy. While i'm studying this course and doing ten times the workload of a Medicine and Surgery student, and having test every other week, it really makes you question whether the next 3 years is going to be worth it...cause right now...in my tired state...its not.

The papers i'm taking  does not interest me one bit. Its an 'okay-alright' situation but sometimes all that runs through my mind is 'so?'. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that i have the ability to do this course well..and that i will graduate with a professional degree that will somewhat secure my future. Not the satisfying rush you get when you complete a fine art or choreographing to the perfect song but i reckon i will feel the relief knowing that it's over..when it is over of course.

i will get through this...i will get through this...i will get through this...