Can't change

Remember those times where everyone would say
‘Where is he?’ ‘He’s with her la dei’
And everyone would get it, without dismay
It was those moments that made my day

We were those people, the ones that argue
About anything and everything, what or who
Calling names and wrestling our way through
Not pulling back, no one withdrew

I’ll stay up every night,
Knowing that you’ll be there;
Waiting to begin the fight,
Waiting to not fight fair.

Confidently I thought we would be;
I was led on… Could you blame me?
Called me sweetheart, named me honey;
Made me believe I was the only.

The day never came,
And I foolishly refuse to believe;
That day never came,
And I lost the bet that you wouldn’t leave.

I’m tired and empty.
Like one who was once special,
And now creeps the lonely.
Like one who relied on false fable,
And now the one who is sorry.

I find myself going back
Reliving those days
The persian couches and things that I lack
And somethings that I just didn’t say

The story we’ll tell in the future, will not be the same
A boy who didn’t have feelings and a girl who dealt with the pain
We’ll speak of it as it was nothing; a misunderstanding; a game
Hoping that one day it’ll mend, and our friendship did not die in vain

Memory becomes vague with every smile that I fake
And there’s no mentioned of the past as it’s my last gift
I’m forced to move on as you watch all the choices I make
And I stop myself when moments feel like it’s you I’m with
Yet some days I too lie in bed and stay awake
A single thought pain me thoroughly: what if.